I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
