So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
