can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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