She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize