I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
