ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
