3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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