Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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