i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
