talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
