They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
