his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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