i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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