guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize