Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
