There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
