Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
