Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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