i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
