I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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