She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
