I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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