every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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