Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
