It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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