she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
