Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
