I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
In America we eat man semen.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
