So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
