to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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