I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Two words: blizzard sex
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
