I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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