last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize