I puked a lego.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
