yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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