I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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