even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My dick has a subreddit
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize