Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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