some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
