Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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