a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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