Sponge bath it is.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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