im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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