Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
