So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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