I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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