i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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