Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
