My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize