ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
