I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
