if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize