i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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