there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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