Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
