I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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