Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
