I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
