I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize