their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
