your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
