when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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