I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
