He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
