Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
