He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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