We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize