Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
