i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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