and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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