I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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